failures not flattering

Fri, 07 Jan 2005 00:19:52 GMT

well....its been a while since i last updated. but nothings really happened. i mean Christmas was okay. i got alotta cool shit. Zach gave me a pink watch and a Pink Ladies jacket and i LOVE IT! and a belt a another squishy pillow. i mostly got clothes for christmas. i got money too, and i bought some new clothes. but the one thing i didnt get was Curve, but Zach says hes gonna buy it for me. which im excited about that. really nothing else has happened. prolly cause i dont get all dramatic over everything like i used to....hm....what to talk about.....well....i dont have anything else to talk about...soo....til whenever i feel like gettin back on, ill update.
<3 bri

is it worth it?

Tue, 30 Nov 2004 22:44:28 GMT

ZAch just called me, and hes pissed. and i dont blame him. im in hysterics and i cant stop cryin. theres another problem, im sittin here starin at the razor infront of me. im dying to cut and i dunno whether i should. is it worth it? i dunno. i dont want him anymore mad at me. but i wanna cut so bad. i keep reachin for it but pullin away. i dunno what to do. im scared hes gonna break up with me cause thats the last thing i want to happen. its times like these when i wish i would die and get everything over with.

thought about it

Tue, 30 Nov 2004 21:58:17 GMT

i've thought about my last entry and i do love Zach, i know i dont act like it all the time, cause im usually annoyed, cause im annoyed alot. but i do love him. well i guess im done. *but there still is that contemplative side of me that asks myself if i really do love him or not, but that will always be there*
I LOVE YOU SOO MUCH ZACH!
bri

bored-ZACH DONT TAKE WHAT I SAY THE WRONG WAY

Tue, 30 Nov 2004 21:56:01 GMT

wow! its been a while. well nothing has happened. Ryan and Megan broke up. theres some drama with that and people are tellin me oall these different things, so im just puttin all that at the bottom of my list of important things. its just none of my business if they break up, if they want my input, ill give it, but if they dont im stayin out if it. which some other people cant say the same. but i guess it was cause someone asked them. but who knows.anyways...me and Zach still go out, but lately we have argued a good amount of times. some were kinda big some were just small little things. i hope nothing bad will happen. not to make this sound like its not, cause i know someone will mis-interpret this and get all pissy, but have you ever just sat there and thought whether you really love someone, or you just think you do? i dunno, i have thought about it, but still cant figure out which. i know i love Zach, i love thats close to me, but do i REALLY love him. i say i do, but do i even know what love is? i dunno. could i be to young to know what it is and what its all about. i dunno, but right now im very sure i do love him. but i dunno if im right. whoa. that confused me and if you read that Zach PLEASE DONT TAKE IT THE WRONG WAY! cause i do love you and not like i love all my friends either.

Thu, 18 Nov 2004 21:32:14 GMT

well..its been a while. but nothing big has really happened. oh wow, this is funny for some reason the cursor for my computer is blinkin really funny. it keeps distractin me. i think its funny. anyways...like i said nothing really has happened. trey is finally gettin the picture no one wants to talk to him and that makes me giggle. i cant really think about anything to talk about. soo...i think im gonna go.
bri

tired

Sat, 13 Nov 2004 03:34:46 GMT

well...today me and Zach have been going out for 2 months. thats a LONG time. he came over and stayed a while and then trey (ew) came down too. i didnt like that too much. he annoyed me. he was just being himself, and thats what annoyed me. anyways...im not too happy about my lunch setting. i dunno why, but i dont like it. i'll feel bad about leavin Evan cause hes never there, if he was there more, i'd stay, but hes sometimes not. i might sit with Brittany. she told me all i'd have to do was pull up a chair. but anyways...there really isnt anything else to talk about. wow! 2 months is a LONG time. lol. i just keep thinkin about it. i love Zach sooo much. hehe! i know he knows that. well...i cant really think of anything else to talk about. soo....o yea i noticed i say "til next time" on every journal at the end. that made me giggle, well not really, i just like sayin that. well..anyways...im gone now. and im not gonna say til next time. im gonna say im gone. til LATER.
bri

Wed, 10 Nov 2004 02:53:51 GMT

i dunno whats going on. im about to cry for a retarded ass reason. its cause Zach wanted to get off at like 9:3?. like im gonna go ill tty tomorrow, that kinda thing. i mean. it might sound really really really retarded. well i know it sounds really retarded. im just used to talkin to Zach til im too tired to talk. its like i like the comfort of him being the last person i talk to and hes always the last person i think about and everything. but now its not gonna be like that. i just dunno what to say. it just feels weird. that ill have time to myself. just thinkin about it makes me feel alone. i hate that feeling. i thought that would leave when i started going out with someone, but it doesnt. i just really hate the feeling of feeling alone. wow i really gotta stop being so retarded, but i cant help it. im gonna go, its almost 10 and i dont have that much longer to talk to Zach. til next time.
bri

Tue, 09 Nov 2004 01:22:38 GMT

well...nothing has happened lately. me and my friends are okay now. me and Zach will have been goin out 2 months on friday (i love you Zach) , im startin to buckle down and do better in school...life is pretty good right now. i cant exactly think of anything else to talk about. nothing to complain about, nothing to comment on. well...til next time.
<3 Bri

crushed

Mon, 08 Nov 2004 00:00:05 GMT

well...i was in a wonderful mood til about 3 minutes ago. Zach called me and i talked to him for like only 4 minutes. but atleast i got to talk to him. but i got online on my g-mas computer and started readin some peoples LJ's. they were talkin about yesterday and how much fun it was. they had a group of people and they went out and kept talkin about how much fun it was. well heres what i did. i went with my mom to get her nails done and sat at home until Zach called me and he asked to see a movie with him. and thats it. and all the interestin things that i did, were at a different time then when my "friends" went out somewhere. well that boosts up my self esteem. dont it. i know im complainin alot about this, but i havent complained in a while and i havent done ANYTHING to make ANY of those people mad at me. so i dont understand why any of them couldnt have picked up a phone and called me. but i guess thats too much to ask. i know that might be a really stupid reason to get mad or sad or whatever. but it kinda gets to me when it comes to my friends going out somewhere and not even think to ask me. well...dont really feel like typing anymore. im just not in a good mood anymore.
bri

tired n sick

Sun, 07 Nov 2004 21:27:11 GMT

well...nothing really has happened, nothing ever really does anymore. i went to the game friday. it was so damn cold. i didnt think we'd win but we did. it was funny. i went to the movies last night with Zach. the movie was okay. it wasnt too funny, but for some reason the people sittin behind us kept laughin at parts that were barely funny. o well. i havent really done much today. i went out with my g-ma. she bought me some Mandarin lotion from Bath and Body Works. and i got a book. i got Friday Night Lights. the beginning bored me, so i just skipped it, it was just talkin about the frickin city it "took place in." i havent talked to Zach today!:-(...he said he was gonna call me when he got off work, but he never did. i know im gonna talk to him tonight, but i wanna talk to him now. well...nothing else happens anymore so i have nothing else to complain about. i guess thats good, however you see it. i dont care. sometimes i was okay to have something to complain about, but sometimes it annoyed people. well...im gonna go. til next time.
bri...

p.s.---I LOVE MY DUCK (ARIANA)

Tue, 02 Nov 2004 02:17:13 GMT

well...im over at Megans and avin tons of fun. we found this REALLY funny icon and it goes like this...
Poophead
Buttface
Lardo
Puke Monster
Fart Factory
Tinklebutt
Oh no you didnt just call me tinklebutt
hehe. its soo funny. we are sooo.....hungry! lol we want Taco Bell!!!! lol. soo...what to talk about....*looks at Megan and says**what should we talk about?* *Megan answers**wheelchairs!* *Brianne says**okay* OMG! we were playin with the wheelchair Megan found! it was soo fun! we were rollin down her driveway in it. i told Megan to pull the brake and she kinda did, she broke it. lol. but we fixed it! so its all good. anyways...next subject---well i think im gonna go. til next time!
<3 Bri and Megan!!!

bored

Thu, 28 Oct 2004 23:59:47 GMT

well...theres nothing to do! i really gotta finish my paper for English though, but ill do that later. i was thinkin about stuff earlier, well just a few minutes ago and while reading a friends LJ. i noticed that i hate my neighborhood right now. i mean for a while i didnt like it too much, but then i got to know more people and it seemed like i REALLY liked it. but i mean i know it was bad of what i did, and i told him i was sry. a friend told me something and i kinda told my b/f and he went and asked the guy about it and now the guy is mad at me and acts like i dont exist. i told him i was sry and he talked to me for like 5 minutes and then the next day he didnt. i tried to talk to him on the bus, but he acted like i was invisible. so now, i talk to everyone, except him. and they all hang out with him, like everyday or something. and where am I? stuck at home washin the dishes, actually doing my hw and online. i hate this damn neighborhood. my parents said something about moving, not long ago. that was when me and the guy was still talkin, and i hated the idea. but now i really wanna move. cause maybe there will be people there that actually would include me in stuff. i mean its really fuckin retarded. i just really dont like this neighborhood at all. i wish there were either more forgiving people of more girls my age in this neighborhood. sometimes its okay, but thats when people actually talk to me, but otherwise it sucks. well...dont feel like gettin to mad. soo...til next time.
bri

Wed, 27 Oct 2004 20:35:10 GMT

well....it has definitely been a while. well my brother, with his responsible self, didnt pay the AOL bill. so it got cut off and it took my dad like a week to get some other internet service. so lately i have been messin around with my laptop. me and Zach are doing better than ever. i love him sooo much. shortly after that last entry, i got up the nerve to call Zach and apologize in person. mostly cause my mom saw me gettin ready to cry and said that if i didnt, she would. and i called him and said i was soooo sorry for sayin everything i said and/or the entry. i dont exactly remember. he said it was okay, but i guess it still seemed like he was mad. so i started cryin. i asked if i could call him back, hidin the fact that tears were streamin down my face, and i didnt hide it very well. he didnt hear me so i said it louder but it was too herd to hide the tears. he heard me and got really sympathetic. he was like OMG! im soo sry i didnt mean for you to cry (or something along those lines) and he told me to stop crying and how he hates it when people cry. well i went and ate something and took a shower and after that felt TONS better. he called me right when i was about to call him back and we talked for a few hours! lol. but right now we are doing very very well. now treys pissin me the HELL off. hes tellin Zach that i always lie and that he (Zach) shouldnt trust me. WTF! he also told Zach that Ben touches my ass like everyday since something like last week, or he touched my ass last week. i dont remember. but still!!! Ben has NEVER EVER EVER touched my ass. i think i'd remember if someone grabbed my ass, shouldnt i? and the fact that trey tellin Zach that KNOWIN that Zach will tell me, it just blows my mind! i keep forgettin to right that ass a note askin him what his problem is and ask him where the hell those lies came from. well...nothing else really happened. soo...til next time.
<3 Bri

Sun, 17 Oct 2004 23:32:49 GMT

trey was right callin me conceited. the entry that was on here before this, that i deleted pissed zach off so bad. i didnt mean for him to get mad or anything. now i have a bad feelin and i think hes gonna break up with me. i may be wrong, i hope im wrong. but who knows. he was so mad. im too busy cryin about my own problems and complain that i pissed off someone i really love. i cant believe i did that. hes never been this pissed at me before and i dont like it. oh goodness i cant stop shakin and im about to start cryin AGAIN. i dunno what to do, i cant get the nerve to call him and apologize some more. i just cant think straight. im gonna go before i start cryin again.
ZACH IM SO SRY AND I LOVE YOU SOO MUCH

bri

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 02:21:07 GMT

*sigh*i dunno why im so sad. it could be because i dunno if Zach actually knoes how much i love him and how much he means to me. but he might, i might just being retarded like i usually am. but i dunno. i just really wanna cry right now (i just got off the phone with him)hes all i think about (but im not all obsessed or anything) unless im actually doing my schoolwork and sometimes i wont be doing that, but practically every other moment im think about him or us. like i said i might just be being retarded or something. really nothing else is going on. i mean over all me and zach are doing purdy darn good. but i dunno why im feeling this way. i hope ill be better in the morning. til next time.
bri

Mon, 11 Oct 2004 02:12:10 GMT

well..today was okay. before like 9:?? something i had only talked to Zach for a few minutes online. i didnt like that too much cause i love talkin to him, but he called and we talked a while. he wasnt in the best mood, so that kinda upset me. when he was tellin me how he felt, like he didnt knoe why and stuff, it kinda wanted to cry....i have no idea why, i just felt bad cause for some reason i felt like i was the reason, but he told me i wasnt. but i just held back the tears until we got off that subject. but now hes sayin how he might not go to school tomorrow, i hope he doesnt feel that way anymore....cause i didnt get to see him all weekend and i was lookin forward to tomorrow, ill be pretty upset if i dont get to see him tomorrow, not at him, but that i havent gotten to see him in so long. it would be hard like not seein him after almost all my classes, wait i think i see him after every class...lemme see *think think* YES i do see him after every class, and then havin to walk to the bus all alone, that would suck! anyways...im feelin okay...better than earlier, but still kinda all worried, but i dunno knoe. anyways...til next time...
bri

not too happy....

Sat, 09 Oct 2004 20:14:23 GMT

well last night i went to the Toby Keith concert in Roanoke. it was pretty fun. i had a blast. Scott Emerick and Tracey Lawrence opened up for him. it was so awesome. there was one song i particularly liked form T.K......
Met you in a cafe
At a table meant for two
You were sittin' by your lonesome
And I sat down with you
You tried hard not to show it
But I couldn't help but see
That you wore a broken heart out on your sleeve
And your lonliness
could not disguise
The beauty and the charm
Thought if I ever get you,
Shattered lady in my arms

(Chorus)
I'm gonna rock you, baby, to sleep
I'm gonna make you crazy over me
I wanna hold you
Like you've never been held before
And love you till you tell me
you can't love anymore
I'm gonna shake your emotion
Right down to your soul
And I wanna love you all over
And then out of control
Yeah if this is how love is suppose to feel
Baby I know I've fallin' head over heals
Gonna rock you, baby

Over open conversation
And a bottle of red wine
You said this world is full of users
And I know that I've had mine
We danced a little slow dance,
Until they closed that cafe down
You said what would be the chances
That tonight I've finally found someone
Who makes me, feel like, my life has just begun
I said girl, believe in me, And I'll show you how it's done

(Chorus)
I'm gonna rock you baby, to sleep
I'm gonna make you crazy over me
I wanna hold you
Like you've never been held before
And love you till you tell me
You can't love anymore
I'm gonna shake your emotion
Right down to your soul
Then I wanna love you all over
And then out of control
Yeah if this is how love is suppose to feel
Ooh Baby I know I've fallin ' head over heals
Gonna rock you, baby

i love that song. i have the cd and lately i have been listenin to it over and over. anyways...i was supposed to go to the movies with Zach, but my mom is being all bitchy and stuff and said i cant. it made me sooo mad A)cause she thinks that i wont be all responsible and shit and call her when its over, Oh My Goodness, im old enough to dial a damn phone! and B)she waited to the DAY OF THE MOVIES to tell me i couldnt go. i wouldnt have been AS made if she had told me like earlier in the week the 1st time i asked her. WTF! i dunno why she always does this. cause if she told me before i could have made some other kinda plans. it just pisses me off so damn much! i really dont feel like typin anymore. til next time.
bri

Fri, 08 Oct 2004 01:17:54 GMT

well today was very....interestin. but i think tomorrow will be even more interestin. lol. but i have been happier than usual. and thats good. but anyways....im really tired! lol. i cant think of anything else to say, and i dont feel like being random right about now. so when something interestin happeneds, which will prolly be tomorrow, ill write some more i guess. til next time.
<3 bri

Thu, 07 Oct 2004 01:44:41 GMT

well......nothing is happenin, nothing ever does anymore. me and Kenny had a little argument. nothing too big. but i dunno whether hes still mad at me or not cause i was the one that kinda yelled...but o well. hes imin me now, so i guess hes not that mad. but i have told him im sorry for yellin. but anywways....Zachs not on and i havent talked to him all afternoon! that makes me sad cause i LOVE talkin to him. im really really cold right now, its always cold in my house. i hate that. anyways...nothing else to complain about. so...til next time.
<3 bri

p.s.----Kenny just told me that me yellin didnt matter too much to him....well what i get from that is that he could care less if i was mad at me him or anything. thats kinda wrong...but im not sure if thats what he means, but if it is, thats messed up.

Wed, 06 Oct 2004 02:20:45 GMT

well....today was okay...just before i got online i was talkin to Zach. i like him soooooooooooooo much and i just think i really really love him, not just little "i love you" but really fallin for him. we have all these little fights, that i guess dont mean too much to him, but they do to me. i mean some little things WILL get to me and upset me. so a few times i zoned out and didnt pay too much attention to him on the phone. but i dunno....i cant explain it. i feel upset, even when i talk to him, even though I LOVE TALKING TO HIM and seeing him, but i dunno. i just never feel up to things anymore. and i feel like that feeling of overwhelming, so i dont really pay the attention to things like it should. and one of the things that i dont pay alot of attention to his me and him. i mean dont get me wrong i WANNA go out with him and i love him to death, but i just seem like im payin the attention to us like i should. it might not be as bad as i thought, but i feel bad about it. but i dunno, its hard to explain everything. well....nothing else to "complain" about. soo....til next time.
<3 bri

tired

Tue, 05 Oct 2004 00:55:41 GMT

well, i havent been feeling too good lately. last night i felt terrible and today wasnt all that great and right now i feel pretty darn bad. i have been workin on my deck with my dad every since he got home at like 3. i have been paintin, fillin in cracks on the bottom and helpin put screen up, im VERY tired. really nothing else going on. me and Zach are doing good and that makes me happy, the little happiness i have im my stressful days. well...nothing else to say. til next time.
<3 bri

tired

Sat, 02 Oct 2004 19:06:15 GMT

well i vacuumed for my g-mas now im reallllly tired. i didnt get to talk to Zach last night :'( that makes me sad. anyways...prolly gonna hang out with peoples today. til later.
bri

yawns

Sat, 02 Oct 2004 01:47:48 GMT

well this is my second journal. im pickin up on this one from where my last one left off. when something happeneds, ill write again, but im too tired now.

http:///www.livjournal.com/users/allthepieces

failures not flattering

is it worth it?

thought about it

bored-ZACH DONT TAKE WHAT I SAY THE WRONG WAY

tired

crushed

tired n sick

bored

not too happy....

*tired*

tired

*yawns*

tired

yawns